Things that are Shit Episode 1

– V necks

– Not being able to get in the garage shop after 10

– Job Centres

– Work

– DVD adverts you can’t skip

– Starbucks/Costa/Cafe Nero

– McDonald’s/KFC/Subway/Burger King/Blah Blah

– Gambling/betting ads

– “MagiCan” can-openers that aren’t really “magic” at all

– England-shirt-wearing-Carling-drinkers


– Takeaways that don’t deliver

– Jamie Oliver


– MP3 DJs

– Gluten-free commercialism for non-celiac self-promoting twats

– Nightclubs

– Always running out of skins/filter tips

– Bad weed

– Post office queues


– Paying 5p for a fucking carrier bag

– Getting up before 12

– Shakespeare

– Harry Potter

– Tesco Express

– John Cena/Vince McMahon/WWE Wrestling PG-13 era

– Fox hunters

– Vegans trying to corrupt their cats

– Cat shit

– Estate Agents/Landlords

– Any radio station

– Rent-a-twat Bailiffs always giving it the big 1

– Soya milk always curdling my coffee

– Smartphones/apps/their shitty 6-hour battery life

– Liberals


– Price of football

– No smoking signs EVERYWHERE (even outside)

– Katy Perry

– Kayne West/Eminem/All commercial Hip-Hop

– Kids sagging skinny jeans

– Posh overpriced wine bars

– Shops that sell antiperspirant deodorant and never any of the bog-standard spray

– 1 Superhero film after another after another after another…

– Speed cameras

– Shit drivers who don’t indicate

– Pot holes/or any road in Bradford

– Paying for parking

– Paying for public toilets

– Paying over £4 for a beer

– Paying for anything

– Hospital waiting times

– George Osborne’s smug fucking face

– Trying to shave the back of your head yourself

– Orange-skinned women

– Tribal tatts on overbuilt men

– Anyone in/associated with Geordie Shore

– Gym-posing twats who have no use for their muscles cept to wank themselves stupid over themselves in front of a mirror


– Traffic wardens

– RZA’s acting

– CGI-obsessed films/filmmakers

– Grime

– Hipsters/shitty hipster beards/hipster record shops/hipster cafes

– Russell Brand

– Triple-A video games and their virgin wank-boys

– The Smiths/Morrissey

– Mrs Brown’s Boys

– Bacon Fries (they ain’t like they used to be)

– Prescription prices

– Getting the shits


this list will probably get longer…


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